"a true friend stabs you in the front."

ok, ok, who's the quote by? come on...need a hint?

i saw his grave today.

and i made out with it, too. yes, friends, i went and re-kindled my love for my old pal, oscar wilde. after a divine breakfast of pain au chocolat and other disgustingly rich pastries from the 'aux petit plaisirs' patisserie/boulangerie across the street from me, ericka and i made our way to pere lachaise cemetery. i realized today that, as sick as it is, spending time with dead people is one of my favorite activities to do in paris. pere lachaise is absolutely beautiful. as i walked through, i realized that the seasons had changed, somewhere between me packing up in madison and unpacking here in paris. it smelled like fall. it smelled different, beautiful. it was how you would imagine the ideal, sunny, brisk, autumn day. the leaves are beginning to change colors, beginning to fall. the chestnut trees are nearly bare of all leaves, with their fruit beginning to crash to the ground. walking over the cobblestone paths in the cemetery, seeing all those broken up chestnuts, i began to get very excited for christmas. i so look forward to chestnuts roasting on an open fire, eating them as i stroll past lafayette and printemps, admiring the christmas decor. but as for now, it is fall, and it is heavenly.

on a different note, i realized today, while ordering lunch at a cafe for me and my non-french speaking friend, that i was beginning to settle in. really settle in. this is normalcy now. walking across the street to the boulangerie, buying my fresh fruits from momo, playing flirty eyes with the cashier at ed who thought i was an idiot the first time i rolled in. this is normal. im comfortable. and im ok with being comfortable. i am not constantly searching for change here. this is the change i needed in my life. there is still plenty to fall into place, but being in this setting feels so right.

i also realized yesterday how i really appreciate paris so much more this time around. last year everything was so new, so exciting. trust me, it is not dull this time around, but its familiar and i love that. but i know what it is like to have had this taken away from me, as was the case when i returned to the states in december. i know that day will approach soon this time around, too, and i find myself just enjoying the city so much more than ever. really not taking anything for granted. being truly joyful for the little things, the delicious breads and cheeses, little kids speaking french, the geraniums that seem to grow in pots off of everyone's balconies. its lovely. j'aime paris. c'est simple.